The UFO Defense

PART 1 OF RECORDED INTERVIEW 

BOMAW PD INTERROGATION ROOM A

PO: I'm Officer                 with the Bomaw Police Department. Please state your name, age, and address for the record.

SUSPECT: My name is Carroll Niven- don't give me that. It's a family name. My day's been [expletive] enough as it is. I'm 25, and I live on 32 Hill Road, but there [aren't] any hills there.  And you won't believe me when I tell you what's really happening, and you sure as hell won't go looking for her. You can't. You won't find her, and I -

PO: For the record, you are suspected in the disappearance of Ambyr McMurty. What is your relationship to the victim?

SUSPECT: We didn't have a relationship. She was very clear on that. I wanted to change her mind, turn up the magic, you know what I mean?

PO: No. How did you know the victim?

SUSPECT: Don't call her that. Show some respect. She was my girlfriend. And I didn't have anything to do with the fact that no one can find her. Well, I had something to do with it, but it wasn't my fault, you see. I tried to save her. I almost did. And now she's gone. Up there [suspect points at the light fixture].

PO: Please tell me what happened on the night of May 10th, 2017.

SUSPECT: Sure, sure. Wait, am I supposed to have a lawyer?

PO: That is your right. So you would like to seek the help of a public defender to prove your innocence? Or would you like to just have a conversation. You aren't under arrest.

SUSPECT: So I'm not a suspect?

PO: No.

SUSPECT: Ok, well, then that night I was enjoying a quiet evening at home. Reading. Books.

PO: What were you reading?

SUSPECT: What are you? My teacher? You the reading police or the regular police? And I may have had a sip or two of wine when I was inspired to go check on the welfare of Ambyr. I wanted to tell her that I was done with my player's ways. I was ready to commit. That was our problem, I have a way of attracting unwanted attention from the ladies. Ambyr would get jealous, and throw me out. This last time she said it was for good. 

That night it was real stormy, rainy and stuff. I think they said something about a tornado watch on TV. On my way I noticed that there was something freaky going on in the sky. I thought it was lightning because sometimes it just lights up little patches and it's so far away that you don't hear no sound until way later.  But these lights were close together and didn't just flash, they turned on for a few seconds. And they were making shapes.

PO: Were you intoxicated? How many glasses of wine had you had to drink?

SUSPECT: Umm, not many. Just a few bottles. Little bottles, not whole big wine bottles. 12 oz. longnecks. But just a few of them.

PO: And you drove?

SUSPECT: [expletive] yeah I drove. Do you expect me to, what, jog 7 [expletive] miles in the rain to that [expletive]ing [expletive]-hole? [expletive] no. So I got out of the truck, walked up to her door, and knocked, polite gentleman that I am. And what does she do but kick the door open and stick a [expletive] shotgun in my face.
She didn't know it was me.

PO: She didn't?

SUSPECT: No. Of course not. So just when I am about to get down on my knees and make her the luckiest girl in the world, she sees them same lights that I saw. I politely suggest that we step into her home. She ties her purple robe tighter, holds on to her gun, and runs down her driveway out in that rain. That's when I hear the tornado sirens go off, meaning that they must have spotted something. She turns a corner and starts running down the middle of the street. Even though it was raining. Even though those sirens were going off, I ran after her. The sirens got a little louder, and that was fine. I was getting closer so they should be loud, but then the lighting turned back on. I didn't flash, it stayed bright. No thunder. That's when I saw it. 

At first I thought it was the funnel cloud coming down, but it wasn't spinning and reflected that fake lightning real good. You know when a sub comes out of the water and floats on top? That's what this thing did. I couldn't tell the color in the night, but this pointy thing came down from the clouds and floated. And what does Ambyr do but chase it? And what do I do but follow her, into the rain and the storm and those sirens that might just tear your ears off. Funny thing is, there wasn't that much wind, and I couldn't hear the tornado sound.

This isn't science-fiction. This is my life, and that was a [expletive] UFO.

PO: If you believed that a flying saucer full of aliens had arrived in Bomaw Oklahoma to abduct you, why didn't you run?

SUSPECT: You see detective, that's where it gets complicated.

This is the first of a serialized story that will be updated every weekday. 

Alex Perry has lived in the jewel of the Arklatex (Texarkana), Germany, Waco, Houston, and has recently moved to Arkansas. She taught 6th grade ELA and is now starting a blog where she sometimes talks in the third person. She's supposed to create a "platform" to help get an agent for her science-fiction/humor/mystery manuscript. She clearly knows nothing about blogging so any helpful comments would be appreciated. You can go to her "professional" facebook page and read the first five pages of her first and second novels.